The Ultimate Guide to Taking Control of Your Family Finances
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SUMMARY: Taking over family finances isn't just about paying bills – it's about protecting your shared future when living with LBD. Whether you're already managing money or know you need to step in soon, waiting until "someday" isn't an option. Our new guide walks you through organizing finances, handling the transition with dignity, and setting up systems that work even on tough days. From starting money conversations to creating a financial safety net, we'll help you take control one step at a time. This is one article you'll want to bookmark and share.
“One of the things I'm glad I started doing early on is paying the bills. It took me about a year to get everything organized so I knew what was being paid, when and how. But there have been times I needed Jack to help out with remembering some detail and with his memory eroding, it's been almost impossible.”
Those words from a fellow caregiver hits home for many of us. Whether you're already managing your family's finances or know you need to step in soon, one thing is clear: waiting until "someday" to get involved with money matters isn't an option when you're caring for someone with Lewy Body Dementia.
Why You Need to Get Involved Now
Money talk isn't easy. You might feel like you're overstepping or taking away independence. Maybe you're overwhelmed by the thought of managing finances, especially if your partner has always handled them. But here's the truth: getting involved with your family finances isn't about taking control – it's about protecting your shared future.
The Reality of Cognitive Decline
LBD affects everyone differently, but changes in financial management abilities often show up early. Your loved one might:
- Forget to pay regular bills
- Pay the same bill multiple times
- Struggle to balance the checkbook
- Make unusual or risky financial decisions
- Have trouble understanding basic financial concepts they once knew well
Warning Signs That It's Time to Step In
Watch for these red flags that suggest it's time to take a more active role:
- Unopened mail piling up, especially bills
- Confusion about recent transactions or account balances
- Bounced checks or overdraft notices
- Unusual purchases or changes in spending patterns
- Difficulty explaining where money went
Common Roadblocks and How to Overcome Them
"I don't want to take away their independence."
This is about teamwork, not takeover. Start by offering to help review bills together or set up automatic payments as a way to work alongside your loved one.
"I don't know anything about our finances."
You're not alone. Many caregivers start from scratch. Begin by simply gathering information – account numbers, passwords, and monthly bills. Take it one step at a time.
"I'm afraid of making mistakes."
Everyone makes mistakes when learning something new. Start small by reviewing statements and bills together. Consider working with a financial advisor who understands your situation.
Remember: Taking control of finances isn't about power – it's about protection. The sooner you start, the more time you have to learn from your loved one while they can still help you understand your family's financial picture.
Organizing Your Bill Paying System
Whether you're already managing the bills or just getting started, you know it's more than just paying them on time. It's about creating a system that works even on your worst days – because let's be honest, caregiving comes with plenty of those.
Creating Your Financial Dashboard
Think of this as your command center. Here's how to build one that works:
Start with a simple spreadsheet or notebook (whatever works for you) that lists:
- Monthly fixed expenses (mortgage, utilities, insurance)
- Variable bills (credit cards, medical expenses)
- Payment due dates
- Account numbers
- Customer service phone numbers
- Auto-pay status
Pro Tip: Keep a printed copy in case technology fails you. When you're managing care, the last thing you need is password issues keeping you from paying bills.
Setting Up Automatic Bill Payments
This isn't just about convenience – it's about peace of mind. But be strategic:
- Set up auto-pay for fixed expenses like mortgage and utilities
- Keep variable bills like credit cards on manual pay so you can review charges
- Use your bank's bill-pay service when possible – it's usually free and gives you more control
- Set calendar reminders to check that payments went through
Warning: Don't auto-pay medical bills. These need careful review first, especially with ongoing care needs.
Building an Emergency Fund System
Medical expenses, equipment, and care needs can pop up unexpectedly. Here's what works:
- Keep emergency money in an easily accessible savings account
- Set up automatic transfers to build this fund gradually
- Aim for 3-6 months of expenses if possible
- Consider a separate account just for medical expenses
- Track every withdrawal to understand your real costs
Keeping Track of Important Documents
Create three folders (physical or digital):
1. "Need Now" - Current bills, statements, and medical expenses
2. "Need Soon" - Insurance policies, tax documents, property records
3. "Just in Case" - Estate documents, old tax returns, major purchases
Key Point: Tell a trusted family member where to find these documents. Many caregivers say their biggest stress came from not knowing where important papers were kept.
Remember: Your system doesn't have to be perfect – it just has to work for you. If sticky notes and paper files are your thing, that's fine. If you prefer everything digital, that's great too. The goal is to make it simple enough that someone else could step in and understand it if needed.
Taking Over Family Finances
Maybe you've never paid the bills. Maybe spreadsheets make you nervous. That's okay. Everyone starts somewhere, and you can do this. Let's break it down into manageable steps.
Starting the Money Conversation
This might be the hardest part. Here's how to begin:
- Pick a calm moment when you're both relaxed
- Start with shared goals: "I want to make sure we're both protected"
- Ask for help: "Could you show me how you keep track of everything?"
- Share your concerns: "I worry about what would happen if you got sick"
Remember: This isn't about taking over – it's about working together to protect what you've both built.
Gathering Essential Information
Make a checklist and work through it gradually:
1. Monthly Bills:
- What comes in each month?
- When are they due?
- How are they paid?
2. Account Information:
- Bank accounts and numbers
- Credit cards
- Investment accounts
- Insurance policies
3. Important Contacts:
- Financial advisor
- Insurance agent
- Tax preparer
- Family attorney
Understanding Regular Bills and Payments
Create a simple tracking system:
- List every bill that comes in for one month
- Note the typical amount (check past statements)
- Write down due dates
- Mark which ones are automatic payments
- Highlight which ones change month to month
- Note the account number and any phone numbers for when you need to make an inquiry
4 Simple Steps to Staying on Top of the Bills
It helps to have a regular process for reviewing and paying the bills. As you get more comfortable with your system you’ll find it takes less time. You can do each of these steps once a week as the bills come in or batch everything and do just one step each week. It’s up to you and works best for you and your situation.
Review upcoming bills
Pay credit cards, review statements
Check auto-payments went through
Plan for next month's expenses
Important: If your loved one resists sharing passwords or account access, don’t make it an issue. Just start with becoming an authorized user or signer on accounts. Small steps count.
One caregiver recently recounted her experience. "When I first started helping with bills," one caregiver shared, "I made plenty of mistakes. I paid the same bill twice one month. But you know what? We figured it out. The important thing was that I started."
Want to know the secret most experienced caregivers share? Start now, while your loved one can still help explain things. Don't wait for a crisis to force your hand.
Working Together During the Transition
This isn't just about paying bills – it's about shifting roles while preserving relationships. One caregiver put it perfectly: "Even our roles have had to shift. Frankly, we're both living with LBD, each in our own way."
Maintaining Dignity and Independence
Keep your loved one involved as much as possible. In most cases they’ve been doing this a long time and it’s part of who they are in the household.
- Ask their advice on financial decisions
- Review bills together when they're having a good day
- Let them handle small, safe transactions if they want to
- Keep a separate "spending account" they can manage
- Thank them for their years of managing things so well
Remember: Someone who managed finances for decades has valuable knowledge to share, even if they can't handle the day-to-day tasks anymore.
Making Joint Decisions While You Can
Focus on important decisions now, while you can make them together.
- What bills could you cut if needed?
- Which accounts should you keep or close?
- What's the plan for long-term care costs?
- Should you sell any assets or investments?
- What about downsizing or home modifications?
In our case we threw out the travel bucket list for staying close to home. It wasn't the retirement we planned, but making these decisions together helped us both accept our new reality.
When to Bring in Professional Help
Knowing your strengths and weaknesses is key to being successful. Never be afraid to ask for help. Know when to ask for backup:
- If you're feeling overwhelmed by financial decisions
- When tax situations get complicated
- If you need help understanding investments
- When legal documents need updating
- If you spot unusual financial activity
Pro Tip: Find professionals who understand LBD. Your local LBD support group can often recommend financial advisors and attorneys who work with families like yours. Referrals are the best source for professional help.
Key Point: Build your support team before you need them. As one caregiver noted, "I'm lucky, the kids are grown and live nearby. With the change in roles, I've had to pick up all of the things that my husband used to do and sometimes they are just beyond my ability."
Watch For:
- Resistance to sharing information
- Signs of financial mistakes or confusion
- Unpaid bills or collection notices
- Changes in spending habits
- Lost or misplaced money
Remember: This transition takes time. Some days will be harder than others. Give yourself permission to learn as you go, and don't expect perfection.
Protecting Your Financial Future
Most of us have no idea what long-term or in-home care costs. It was an eye-opener for us when Mom had her stroke and we needed to move her into a long-term care facility. Over the following 5 years, as she moved from independent to assisted living the costs steadily rose. Luckily Dad had invested wisely and we were able to afford her care.
Bottom line, you have manage today and plan for what's coming.
Must-Have Legal Documents
Get these in place now. As your loved ones memory and decision making processes start to fail, you’ll be glad you’ve already done this work.
- Durable Power of Attorney for finances
- Medical Power of Attorney
- Living Will
- Updated regular will
- HIPAA authorization forms
- Bank account signatory rights
Quick Tip: Many families put this off because of the cost. Check with your local Area Agency on Aging – they often know attorneys who offer sliding scale fees or free services for seniors.
Banking Access and Authorization
If you’ve already done this, great, if not set these up now to avoid problems later:
- Joint accounts or authorized user status
- Online banking access
- Bill pay authorization
- Safe deposit box access
- Credit card account oversight
Important: Keep your own credit separate and strong. You might need it for future care expenses or housing changes.
Setting Up Online Account Management
Create a secure system:
- Use a password manager for financial accounts
- Set up account alerts for unusual activity
- Keep a master list of all online accounts
- Enable two-factor authentication
- Save important emails and statements
Warning: Never share passwords over email or store them on your phone without protection. Many password managers include password sharing for emergencies.
Creating Your Support Network
It took a year, but I now handle all of our bills and investments. One thing I had to admit is I HATE doing taxes. Yes, I know there are apps to make it simple, doesn’t matter, I would rather have a root canal. Not being afraid to admit it, I added a account to our support network.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, building your support network now is going to save you headaches and stress down the road. You don’t have to do it all at once, but the sooner you get started, the better you’ll be long term.
- Trusted family members who can help
- Financial advisor familiar with LBD
- Elder law attorney
- Accountant or tax preparer
- Bank representative who knows your situation
Final Thoughts
Money talks aren't easy, but they're necessary. Start these conversations early, keep good records, and don't be afraid to ask for help. Remember, you're not just managing money – you're protecting your family's future and peace of mind.
"I'd recommend to anyone to get involved with the home finances, legal paperwork, and other activities as early as possible. If you wait until 'someday' it may be too late for them to help you."
These wise words from a fellow caregiver sum up what many learn the hard way. Taking control of your family finances isn't about power – it's about protection. It's about peace of mind. Most importantly, it's about being prepared for whatever tomorrow brings.
Start small. Maybe it's just gathering paperwork this week. Maybe it's having that first conversation about online banking. Whatever step you take, remember – you don't have to figure this out all at once, but you do need to start.
Your future self will thank you for taking action today. And if you're feeling overwhelmed, remember: every one of us started exactly where you are. You can do this, one step at a time.
Remember: The best time to get involved with family finances was yesterday. The second best time is today.
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IMPORTANT: This website is informational only and does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. The content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition.
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